Growing Up

Leah once told me that it's hard work dying. There is an emotional and physical process and she believes that it takes energy and peace from the person going through it. They need patience, understanding, and ultimately for us to let go of them. Then they pass.

Though not as severe as dying, preparing for your first born leaving the house is a little bit of this pain requiring heaps of patience and a few tears along the way.

Kate grew up.

Kate turned eighteen and she will be leaving us in the fall and it feels as if she is leaving us behind. How did this happen? When did this happen? The cliche's are true~children grow up in the blink of an eye~and all of those sappy sentiments. You hear these and still one is unprepared. This sudden changing of the guards, excitement and dread packaged together, it is all just so bittersweet. With only a little bit sweet and heaps of bitter worry.

I don't worry much about Kate because she has a good head on her shoulders and a general direction on where she plans to end up. I expect there to be bumps along the way and hope those bumps are relatively painless. Can I get an 'Amen' if her biggest bump is a C- in a class? I hope for that rather than the other dreadful things along the way. I worry about bed bugs, cafeteria meals filled with MSG, credit card pushers, roofies in red cups, late night study sessions with muggers lying in wait, hepatitis C, insane roommates with crazy boyfriends, and young men with sealed juvenile records. You know, normal stuff.

This year is our year of 'lasts' while preparing for her next chapter. The last snowfall at home, the last friend birthday sleepover, the last year. A bit like dying I would say. Me, not her.

Thank goodness I don't have to do this process for another thirteen years. Yet, I know that in thirteen years I will be saying how fast it goes and how painful it is to send them off. I comfort myself knowing I have another thirteen years all the while realizing with the special gift of hindsight Kate is gifting me, time will pass too quickly. In the blink of an eye...